Robin Hood 1x12 "The Return of the King"

Woo! We made it to the first half of the two part season one finale! These next two episodes are going to be an emotional rollercoaster, but a fun one! Djaq and Marian both get to absolutely shine in this episode too, which is fantastic (I think this episode is only the second or third instance in the entire show so far that passes the Bechdel Test, which isn't great...), and everyone involved in the cave scenes gets to really show off their acting abilities here in a big way. I'm excited for this one, so let's begin!

Thoughts While Watching:

• Guy looks so awkward holding that bird.
• You don't feed your birds?! I'm calling PETA!
• The cave doesn't seem that bad. I'd rather be in there than out in the rain.
• "Bats are rats, rats with wings." This whole scene is great. I love Much.
• I didn't know that fact about bats was something they would've known back then. Makes sense that Djaq would be the one to know it. Djaq knows everything.
• Much: What if there was a noise nobody could hear (Allan interrupts with an exasperated "shut up") and then if you were the only person in the world who could hear it, because I am that person. I see sense where others see nonsense, just like the bat. I take it back, I like the bat. The bat is my friend. The bat understands me. (I didn't realize that people smoked crack in medieval England, but here Much is, teaching me something new everyday. I love him.)
• I love that little squabble Much and Allan get into over the bread.
• Djaq looks so pretty in this lighting.
• I have a lot of thoughts in this scene, and unsurprisingly, most have to do with Djaq and Allan. So the gang finds out the king is coming (or so they think), but what does this really mean for everybody?
• Much is clearly ecstatic. Outlaw life really isn't for him. He wants to be a noble, he wants his Bonchurch, he wants to be with Eve, he wants food and a nice warm house with a nice warm bath, and he wants to know that Robin will be safe. All of those things depend on King Richard returning. He can't even see how this could be anything less than great news for anyone else.
• Much is the only one who is immediately happy about the news. This is significant. Will is obviously thinking about having to reveal to Robin that Guy has announced the wedding and Robin knows that's what his hesitation is about and is already upset and stressing about it, though he's in denial that Marian will go through with it. I think that Marian's wedding is the only reason that Robin has to be upset about, so I don't think his feelings go any deeper than that. But what about Will, Allan, John, and Djaq? Will only shows that he's upset about the Marian situation, but could it be more?
• Allan gets testy quick. He tells Much to shut up, Much keeps going and mentions how he and Robin can both go home and starts to say something about Little John but Allan interrupts him and snaps, "Little John's an outlaw! We all are!" This shows that the king returning is not the great, glorious outcome for everyone else that Robin and Much always perceived it to be. Much counters that Robin will pardon them, but does it really matter? What does John have to return to? Nothing. He's been outlawed for several years, there seems to be some kind of a stigma around him for something he's done in the past, he likely doesn't even have an empty house to return to, and his wife and son left with another man last episode. The only thing this change will bring for him is the crushing realization that even the last little bit of purpose and meaning he has in his life is about to be ripped away. I think Allan realizes this because he's in the same boat and it's what will motivate him to encourage Will to steal the goods with him and run off later on. Allan's lost all the family that he had left, at least that we know of. His brother's dead, he apparently has a drunken cousin somewhere, but is he really going to be the greatest influence on him? He mentions having a father who was a blacksmith, but is his father still in the picture? I get the feeling that Allan's parents are either dead or deadbeat parents, given how Allan and Tom turned out. Before Allan joined the gang his life was pretty much meaningless and all he did was wander around from place to place, lying and breaking the law to survive. What does he really have to return to, even if he is pardoned? All of these feelings are going to continue to build up in him until it eventually all comes out next season once he's been found out as the traitor. He'll tell Robin then all about how he's afraid he'll have nothing once the king returns while Robin will have everything and how Robin doesn't understand, and he's right. Robin doesn't seem to understand this. Robin is kind of self-centered in this respect. He cares about the poor, but he doesn't understand them. He obviously loves his gang, but he doesn't understand the effect that this change will have on any of them but him. He just doesn't get it. The tragedy of it is, while all of Allan's concerns and fears are valid, he waits to open up about them until he's already betrayed the gang and been discovered. Robin certainly isn't going to listen to him then, it all sounds like excuses at that point. I've often thought that Allan's betrayal isn't entirely his fault and is at least partially due to Robin's lack of good leadership and I think this is evidence of that. 
• Allan tells Much to shut up again, yelling this time, and Much responds with, "Well, excuse me for being pleased that all our prayers are answered." He just doesn't get it. All of their prayers have not been answered, only his prayers have.
• This is one of MANY times in the show where I deeply wish we would've gotten more use out of Djaq. This is one of the many, many times where I think they could've done so much more with her. All we get out of her in this scene are facial expressions, which...actually, given the nature of the conversation, that's probably pretty in character. I don't actually wish she would've spoken up in this scene, because that would've been making it all about her and unlike Much, she's not the type to do that. But at some point in this episode, they REALLY needed to give her a scene explaining her feelings on the king's return. Maybe later on when they're all discussing their plans for post-outlaw life or something. I don't know where I would've fit it in, but it desperately needed to be here somewhere. Let's look at this for a minute from her perspective:
• If the king is returning, what does that mean? None of them are discussing what that actually means for the war, only what it means for the people of England and them personally. All of these guys are being ridiculously self-centered here actually. All of them.
• Does that mean he "won," so to speak? That he conquered Jerusalem and regained most of the territory in the area for the Christians, including getting Acre for good? Those are her people there. Bassam still lives there. While Much is busy being excited about food and Bonchurch, is she getting the news that everyone she still had left that she cared about have now been slaughtered?
• Does that mean he gave up or that they came up with a peace treaty? Both of these would be excellent news for her, but until she knows for sure that his return is because of this and not because he won, she would have to be highly stressed and anxious about it. The king returning could either be great news or the absolute worst possible news ever so she has to deal with the idea of both possibilities until she gets more information. 
• And finally, on a more personal note, what happens to her, specifically, if the king is returning? The rest of the gang are all English. Robin, Much, and Will all have someplace to go. John and Allan don't, but at least they're still in their homeland. They can still set up somewhere and try to rebuild their lives from scratch if they actually are pardoned. What does she have? Her father and brother are dead and she doesn't mention having any other immediate family. We know (later on, not at this point) that she still has Bassam, but he's her "uncle's friend" and while they obviously mean a great deal to each other (and I'm a big believer in the idea that family is based on love, not blood), would it even be considered socially acceptable for her to return to live with him? She doesn't even know if he's still alive. Where can she go? How is she going to explain what happened to her and where she's been to the people back home? So far, she's been able to live her life without many of the restrictions usually put on women because she's been living as a soldier and then as an outlaw, but if the war is over (regardless of the outcome) and the gang is dissolving, she's either going to have to try to return to a normal life or start a new phase of life where she either stays in England or basically moves along to the next place. Can she still return home and try to rebuild a normal life? She manages to do this at the end of season two for the most part, but that whole thing seems just...wildly out of character and improbable for reasons I'll likely get to in a later post. How is she supposed to explain to the people back home that her disappearance was due to her dressing as a man, fighting as a soldier in the war, being captured as a slave, and living with a group of Christian, English, men who were thieving outlaws, two of whom were former Crusaders, and still be accepted back into society? She'd have to come up with a really good story, stick to it, and lie her ass off. She doesn't strike me as someone who wants to live the rest of her life as a lie. She could try to stay in England, but let's face it: she wouldn't be one of Robin Hood's outlaws anymore, she wouldn't be one of the heroes anymore, she'd just be a lone Muslim woman living in medieval England without a family who has a reputation for living with a group of men and sticks out like a sore thumb because of her gender non-conformity. How long before the people forget what she did for them? Maybe the ones she directly helped never would, but the rest of the people in England? English society as a whole? The peasants of Nottinghamshire might always be grateful to her, but life in general would be difficult and she would likely feel that she doesn't belong anymore. She's already lost her family of origin and now she's faced with the possibility of losing her found family too.
• The show just really dropped the ball here by not focusing on what this means for her. They touch on almost everyone else, but not her. Luckily, they don't drop the ball again later on and we actually do get a reaction from her in "Lardner's Ring" when they get news of what's going on with the real king. But even then, these douches that call themselves her friends don't even focus on her feelings even when she's on the verge of crying in that episode, so I'm really not that happy with them. Djaq deserved better. Okay, tangent over. Back to the episode. I just think it's really important to understand what this news (even if it is literally fake news) means to each gang member because I think it gives us a lot of important insight on their motivations for upcoming events and highlights where the show really dropped the ball in some instances.
• LMAO! This is probably my favorite Guy/Marian scene in the show. He's pathetically misunderstanding who she is for like, the millionth time, tries to sweep her off her feet, she FLIPS over him and lands in a fighting stance, and he looks at her with complete and utter confusion while she casually flips her little hood/scarf thing or whatever it is behind her shoulder. He really has absolutely no clue who he's marrying, does he? He doesn't know her at all.
• Guy really is absolutely obsessed with how much wealth he has. He just can't seem to understand that Marian doesn't care about it. Now, don't get me wrong here, Marian isn't exactly a saint. I don't think she'd be interested in marrying a peasant. I think she likes being a noble and wants to marry within her station and live a comfortable life. I think the only exception she would likely make is Robin because she's already in love with him and fell in love with him while he was still a noble and therefore views him as her equal, so she would likely make an exception and still marry him as an outlaw if there were no way around it. However, even in season two when he proposes, if I recall correctly, she pulls the same thing on him that she does on Guy. She says yes conditionally, she'll marry him when the king returns. She doesn't seem thrilled about marrying him while he's still an outlaw without lands or titles either. I wonder if that's partially because she doesn't want to tie herself down to the possibility of losing her status as a noble forever just in case he's never reinstated. Regardless, even though I think she does care about wealth and status, it's not the main thing she's after. She wants someone who shares her values because she is passionate and uncompromising on them. Guy doesn't see that. He keeps shoving his wealth down her throat as though that's the only thing that matters to her while simultaneously going around terrorizing the villagers, killing people, going along with the torture of children, and just generally being sadistically evil and smirking about it while he does, even though he knows by now how much she disapproves of it and he still doesn't care. He thinks that the means justify the ends and that the means of being cruel to show allegiance to the sheriff won't matter to her as much as the ends of being wealthy because of his association to the sheriff and he is extremely wrong about that.
• That all being said, given his backstory and how his lands were taken from him, I do actually understand why proving that he has this wealth, that he's a "man of lineage," and keeping Locksley is so important to him. It's not just about money for him either and honestly, that makes this a little sad. It's hard for me to feel all that sympathetic toward him because of all the shit he's done, but I do actually feel a little shred of sympathy here. Just like he doesn't understand why his wealth doesn't mean all that much to her, she also doesn't understand why it does matter to him and what it symbolizes for him. Which honestly, this complete lack of understanding each other is one of several hundred very good reasons why I can't understand why people ship this. I mean, the main reason is still that it's rape and (at least at this point in the story) that he's an evil, sadistic asshole, but even if you take all that away, they just don't get each other.
• Thornton has an earring. What's up with that?
• Robin is the one pointing out that the engagement was agreed to under duress, but he doesn't seem to actually understand what that means. It means marry him or die, Robin. Get that through your thick skull.
• Robin does make a good point here. I do think that Marian uses her father as an excuse sometimes. Although, in her defense, she claims that she can't join the gang because of him and she does actually leave to join the gang immediately after he dies, which suggests that she actually means what she's saying when she makes that excuse. However, she only lasts in the gang for a couple episodes before taking the first opportunity to go back, and while there was a reason for it, I don't think it was actually necessary to do. But that's another topic for another day, we'll get to that in season two. I just don't think that Robin is entirely off base here.
• EDWARD IS A PIECE OF SHIT. I hate him. Read between the lines here, Edward. She's saying that a man must fight for his king, but she's practically begging you to save her from this marriage instead. She wants you to put her first but you're a piece of shit and you won't do it. She constantly puts you first and you don't deserve it, you crusty, old ass. If she was really "your world," you would do something.
• There is no reason to be proud that he's your father, Marian. He's awful. He's absolutely heinous in every way.
• Aww, Djaq looks so cute in her cloak!!!
• Allan's making up his answer on the spot. He clearly doesn't have a plan.
• "Carpentry, I suppose...wood." I don't know why that line is so hilarious to me but it is. I love Will.
• Allan has such pretty blue eyes.
• I love that little smile and wave Djaq does on the stairs. She's so quiet and calm and yet somehow more unnerving than Robin's death stare. Why does the way she's laying on the stairs look so seductive?
• "My humors are out of balance." I like that line.
• That cloak, the way she moves down from the stairs, that look on her face...damn, Djaq is so attractive in this scene.
• LMAO!
• Robin: The torches are on, but there's no one home.
• Allan: Ah, it's like Much. (He has such a cute laugh.)
• So...was he just going to tell her about Pitts? Why did the whole gang make a field trip for that? Obviously, because plot. They needed them all to be there for the next scene, but they never go with Robin to deliver these simple messages on any other occasion.
• Guy to Robin: "I will think about you when I take her to the marriage bed." WHAT?! Excuse me, but what did you just say? What was that? Um...okay. Yeah...the slash really writes itself in this fandom. I mean, taken the way he meant it, that line is absolutely disgusting and repulsive, Guy's a pig, and I'm glad that Marian was there to hear it so she knows who Guy really is, but like...how am I supposed to hear that line and not think of the other interpretation of it? Just...wow...
• Yes! Marian just knocked his ass down the stairs. He gave her a weird look right before he got knocked down. Did he think he might've recognized who was under the mask there for a second? Hmm...
• Allan is making sure everyone else gets out by being the last one to leave here and telling everyone else to run ahead of him while he keeps his arrow pointed at the guards. I wonder if this is because of what happened last time they all just ran out on their own and Djaq got left behind. I truly believe that his actions here are because of that incident. He doesn't want to let that happen again.
• "Goodnight, gents." Just as he skips out, Allan's adorable.
• She's doing what you told her to do, Robin. Hush. But that really was a bad plan on Marian's part. She didn't think it through at all.
• I absolutely LOVE Djaq in this episode. I mean, I love her always, but she's exceptional here. She immediately takes charge of the situation.
• Ugh...I love these boys, I really do, but I'm so disappointed with both of them in this episode. Were they really going to just leave without saying goodbye to the rest of the gang? Were they planning on returning at some point or leaving for good? How can these two men who both claimed to have feelings for Djaq do this to her? She deserves better. Don't get me wrong, I ship her with Allan hard, but she deserves better than both of them if I'm being honest.
• I love this short interaction between Djaq and Marian after Djaq has finished stitching her up:
• Djaq: Are you alright?
• Marian: Yes, thank you, Djaq.
• Djaq: I'm sorry.
• Marian: Why?
• Djaq: I did not think you would be so brave. (Marian responds with a little smile.)
• My thoughts on this Djaq/Marian conversation above: 
• I think fans (not just Robin Hood fans, but fandom in general, and actually the Robin Hood fandom is far less guilty of this than literally any other fandom I've ever been in) tend to divide female characters into the stereotypical feminine vs. unfeminine ones. I'm a big fan of Game of Thrones/ASOIAF and I see this happen all the time with Sansa and Arya. Obviously, not everyone does this, but it is pretty common. People will act like Sansa is a whiny little girl whose femininity is a weakness and that Arya is a badass because she's a tomboy who doesn't care about girly things. Now, I love both characters, but Sansa is my favorite, I'll admit that. She's my favorite character in the whole tv/book series (but Jaime is a close second). I also absolutely love Brienne and Margaery, but the skills they use and the way they present themselves are vastly different too. But I realize that this does tend to be a polarizing issue. I think, more often than not (and I'm not pointing fingers here), it tends to be the tomboy lovers who look down on the feminine characters more often as a way to push up their gender non-conforming faves. This even happens when it's not necessarily a tomboy character but just one that's less concerned about stereotypical feminine things and fits more into the "nerdy" category. Think Willow vs. Cordelia fans in some corners of the Buffy fandom or Lana vs. Chloe fans in some parts of the Smallville fandom. I see it in real life too. How many times have you been scrolling through social media and saw a post that compares what the supposedly preppy/popular girls like to what the bookworm types like? Or how about any of the hundreds of memes out there comparing preppy girls to goth/emo/punk girls? I just saw a meme posted in a Buffy fan group that I'm in earlier today that said "Other girls wanted to be ballerinas when they grew up. I wanted to be a vampire slayer." Like damn, how cringey. Anybody that's actually trained to be a ballet dancer could probably kick your ass. They have to be strong to do that, you know. I see it a lot in the gaming community too with the whole concept of fake gamer girls or in comic book/sci-fi fandoms with the concept of fake geek girls. I just see it everywhere and it's obnoxious. People, both men and even other girls who have a "I'm not like other girls" complex, will look at any girl who is in anyway feminine and immediately dismiss her, her interests, and her abilities. 
• But anyways, why that little sort of off topic rant was relevant here: Djaq is admitting that she held that same prejudice against Marian and apologizes for it. She obviously already knew that Marian had at least some fighting capabilities (although I don't know whether or not she's ever seen her in action, but if she would've, she would've already known that Marian is actually really good even if she made some big mistakes tonight), she knows that Marian helps the gang as a spy (including saving her own life when she was in the dungeons and about to be tortured), and she knows that she helps the poor as the Nightwatchman, but the other things she observed about Marian outweighed them. She still viewed Marian as a woman who cares about her femininity and who maintains a feminine appearance and style of dress (something that Djaq has given up) and as a noble woman at that who isn't ready to give up her wealth and comfortable lifestyle (which I think Djaq can probably relate to, because as I've said before, I think it's pretty obvious she came from a privileged/wealthy background, but this is either something Djaq willingly gave up or something that was ripped away from her during the Crusades). So despite everything else she's learned about Marian, some part of her still viewed her as a very feminine, spoiled, little rich girl who would likely be a wimp about pain. Djaq realized here that she was wrong about her assumptions, that she and Marian are more alike than she previously thought, and instead of just pretending like she had never made the assumptions in the first place, she owns up to it. She admits that she underestimated Marian based on stereotypes and apologizes for it when she didn't have to.
• By owning up to this and apologizing, Djaq is sending an important message to the audience: Don't pit us against each other. Being the only two main female characters in the cast and being so vastly different in appearance, it would be so easy to fall into the trap of constantly comparing these two characters, pitting them against each other in fic, and acting as if you can only like one of the two. This is a direct message to the fandom telling them not to do that. These women aren't doing this to each other and we shouldn't do it to them either. This is also the second time they've saved each other's lives. Marian saved Djaq in "Tattoo? What Tattoo?" and now Djaq gets to return the favor by saving Marian's life in this episode. 
• Aww, poor Djaq's checking up on the status of the two fuckboys who don't deserve her. She's worried about them! She's too good for them.
• I really don't think this is evidence that she's "stirred" by him.
• Eh...not really the time to be bragging about doing things with more intelligence, Marian. You're literally laying there with a stab wound because you didn't think things through.
• "You would have thought you would have learned by now. Every time you go out, you get arrested or stabbed or betrothed." I'm sorry, I can't not laugh at that! "Or betrothed." Omg...
• OH, HELL NO! "You should stay at home and do your embroidery." Are you kidding me, Robin?! And every time he says something nasty like that he just goes, "I did not mean that." He did it to Much too a few episodes ago. Yes, you did. You meant that. Apologize. Actually learn how to give a real apology. You just heard a great example of what one sounds like from Djaq. Learn from it.
• God, Djaq was close enough to hear that whole argument. You just know she's wondering if Robin views her the same way after that misogynistic bullshit remark.
• Oh, I love this scene! This is too funny!
• Much: You think Marian will want anything to eat? What is it girls eat?
• Djaq: (deadpan) Special girls food.
• Much: *pauses, looks at her* You know what I mean. (No, Much...we really don't know. But somehow your sexism is cute and adorable, unlike Robin's.)
• The Much/Djaq scenes in this episode are just fantastic. All of them.
• Much: Now, does she want an egg or does she want some bacon? She can't have both, I don't care who she is.
• Djaq: Pray to your god and to mine. She is going to die.
• Nervous Much is so adorable. That was a cute Marian/Much moment with the "I am sure" scene.
• Djaq is so direct and to the point with her bedside manner. It seems a bit much to me, but I guess I can understand why she chooses to be that way. I liked that story about her father.
• Djaq: My father treated the wounded in the battlefield. He said never lie to a wounded man.
• Marian: Or was it never lie to a dying man? (She is so incredibly brave.)
• Djaq: He said that too.
• This Robin/Marian scene is really sweet. I love it!
• OMG Djaq! I love her so much. She just interrupts their romantic scene with, "I love you, you love me, we all love each other. Drink the wine." Robin should've gotten his payback in the barn scene from hell next season and interrupted her with the same line. It would've improved that horrid scene a thousand fold if he did. God, I hate that scene. This scene here also reminds me of Xander walking in on Buffy and Angel's overdramatic moment in "The Zeppo" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Any Buffy fans know what I'm talking about? I love this trope. Overdramatic romantic scenes with the intense music in the background getting interrupted by a comedic third wheel character is my kink.
• I like Allan's accent. I noticed it in the episode with Tom and again here in this scene with Will, when he says the word "brother" it kind of sounds like "brover" and it's really cute. I still absolutely adore the way he says "tattoo" too.
• Allan's so full of shit. "I was thinking Robin would want this for us." Really? Then go back and ask him instead of running away like a little bitch.
• I still remember when this episode first aired and I first saw that scene. I thought they were writing Will and Allan out of the show at first. I fell for it. I absolutely lost my shit.
• Robin's kind of asking for it here. You don't just threaten someone's life and then go back to them the next day to beg them for help. What did you think would happen? If I were Pitts, I'd be an ass about it too.
• This restarting the heart scene is super impressive. Djaq is amazing. And I LOVE Much and John's reactions to it. Everyone yells "Allah be praised!" lmao
• Aww, Much!
• Pitts: You've probably saved her life.
• Much: She has saved her life. (And then that cute little nod he gives Djaq!)
• Pitts isn't even trying to not be suspicious here.
• Marian would've died of an infection. None of these people are sterile when they're touching her.
• Much is ready to abandon Marian to save himself lmao
• Finally, someone remembers that Will and Allan exist.
• "I thought if I survived the Holy Land then I would die by the fire in Locksley, not in some forest in some poxy, poxy cave!" This line right here proves my ship. Robin was planning to grant him Bonchurch and all Much does is go on and on about Bonchurch, BUT in this moment, when he thinks he's about to die, the truth is revealed. "I thought if I survived the Holy Land, then I would die by the fire in Locksley." He wanted to grow old with Robin, live with Robin, and die at Locksley. Robin is what he really wants most of all.
• I like the creepy laugh. This guy is so over the top.
• Aww, Djaq's reaction! She probably feels like she personally failed Robin and Marian both.
• Robin's reaction here is so heartbreaking. There's no doubt about it that even though he does quite often act like an ass, he really does love her. I ship it. I think Marian deserves better sometimes but I still ship it.
• I fell for this too the first time I saw it. I really believed that the show had just written out Marian, Will, and Allan. I was pissed. Then, when it backtracked on all three, I got comfortable. So when they really did write out three characters in one go in the next season finale, I was truly shocked. I kept hoping they were faking us out like they did here. No such luck. The season two finale of Robin Hood is a crime against humanity.

Final Thoughts:

Whew, that was long! I had a surprisingly large number of thoughts and opinions on that episode. It's an absolutely fantastic episode though. Much was adorable as always, Djaq was absolutely amazing, Marian showed incredible strength, Robin/Marian had some really cute moments, and I think we got some really cool insight into Allan's character. I'm really upset with Will and Allan though. The Will/Allan shippers probably had a field day here. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a Will/Allan shipper too, but I'm much more of a Will/Djaq/Allan shipper and an Allan/Djaq shipper, so I've never been happy about this. She deserves so much better than both of them. I've never fully forgiven them for this even if they do chicken out and come right back. They both missed out on getting to see Djaq's "amazing talent" (as Marian puts it in the S2 finale) as a physician too. They didn't get to see their girl save the day! They'll never really understand what she managed to pull off here. Anyways, that was a great episode! I'll see you next time for the second part of the season one finale!