Robin Hood 1x13 "A Clue: No"

It's the season one finale! The first season of this show is amazing and rewatching it has been a blast! We left off last time with Will and Allan abandoning their friends and the rest of the gang (Robin, Djaq, Much, and John) all believing that Marian is dead and ready to face the sheriff and Guy outside of the cave. The last episode cut off at an incredibly tense moment, so let's get right back into the action!

Thoughts While Watching:

• "Your little hidey hole." I love the sheriff!
• It's interesting that at this point Guy and the sheriff both so greatly overestimate how many people are in Robin's gang. I swear, if the sheriff just opened his eyes and paid attention to what was going on around him, he'd know. He's seen the gang so many times and it's always the same people (with the exception of losing the two guys at the very beginning, losing Roy, and gaining Djaq). How does he not know them by now? A few episodes into the second season will reveal that the children in the villages all know them by name so it's not that much of a mystery.
• Aww, John's first use of "a good day to die." Extra sad when you realize later on that he's saying it because he really does have a death wish and he starts saying it here right after losing his wife and son two episodes ago.
• I don't know why, but the severity in Much's voice when he says, "I hate sayings" cracks me up everytime.
• The sheriff's tooth!
• This is kind of hilarious to think about from the sheriff and Guy's perspective. They have no idea that Guy stabbed Marian, they have no idea she's dead, and they have no clue why the usually peace loving Robin just totally lost his shit and started killing everyone. 
• It's interesting that even though Robin is shooting down guards left and right without a care in the world about whether or not he kills them, he doesn't actually shoot Pitts. Is he still planning to use him for evidence against Guy? Because he's obviously intending to murder Guy out here. I think his main reason for growling at him to move was because he was in the way of shooting Guy, not because he actually wanted to save him.
• This scene gives me shivers. I have goosebumps just watching it. Those war cries as they run into the fray, believing they likely aren't going to make it out alive. This is my favorite fight scene in the whole show.
• I love when Djaq does that dip and flip the guy over her thing. She knows she's small, but she uses her size to her advantage.
• Aww, the boys are back! 
• Oh, Allan...now is not the time for your bullshit. No one ever believes it anyway. Get a new story. I know you have some kind of strange fascination with pregnant women, but come up with some new material. 
• The looks on everyone's faces at that confession is just priceless. Djaq looks heartbroken.
• "She was alright...yeah." How does Allan manage to amuse me even during a funeral scene?
• "Her we loved. Her I loved. I loved her and I never told her." Oh, God. That line's so sad.
• Will's face when he finds out she's alive is so adorable.
• Harry Lloyd can do so much with just his face and next to nothing to work with. It's incredible really. He made me feel more in this scene than anyone else did (although Jonas did a great job too, don't get me wrong). Will and Marian's relationship was practically nonexistent at this point and yet somehow, it's Will's face that brings out the big emotions in that scene.
• Djaq is so cute when she's being all serious and caring as a physician.
• "We must forget the wedding." Hey, Edward...you need beat in the face with a shovel. Repeatedly.
• Guy, why do you want to marry her so badly if you don't trust her at all and you know damn well she doesn't want to marry you? Honestly. "She cannot run from me." That should not be a line in anyone's wedding episode! That's something I don't get about the Guy/Marian shippers. Guy makes it blatantly obvious that he knows she doesn't want to marry him. This whole thing was an attempted rape. 
• I love Robin's hiding spot. Everyone's hiding skills are great here.
• So...what was he coming to talk to her about? Was that really all he wanted? I've seen the theory before that he was coming to tell her the truth about the king in order to save Edward's life and then chickened out because he didn't want her to call off the wedding. I don't know that I believe it though.
• Robin says here, "Once Marian is married it can never be undone." Now, I realize in the Middle Ages under the rules of the Church, marriage was...how can I put this without offending anyone? Not necessarily more serious or a bigger deal, but...let's just say divorce was practically nonexistent. I get that. However, at this point he believes the king is actually here (which is a lie, but he doesn't know it yet), so why would he view this as something that can't be undone? Couldn't Marian, in theory, just marry Guy while they go take care of this king business, Robin could tell the king what's going on, and then they go back to Locksley and arrest Guy before the marriage is even consummated? If Guy hangs, she's free to marry again. Now, granted, the king isn't actually here so it's probably a good thing no one was relying on this plan to work because it wouldn't have, but couldn't it have worked out that way if the king really was back? Why would he view it as such a final thing?
• EDWARD! If you care about her, how about you do "the right thing" and put your daughter before some king that you clearly never even met nor know anything about or else you would've realized that not only is it not him, but this imposter isn't even close to the same age range as the real king, you absolute sack of wrinkled dog shit!
• Oh, no...it's this scene. This infamous Robin/Much hilltop scene. My heart already hurts and it hasn't even started yet. I'm breaking this down bit by bit because this scene is intensely emotional for me and makes me extremely upset with both of them.
• Much: I knew you'd be here. (Much knows him so well.)
• Robin: It is my village. (Much, he clearly doesn't want comfort right now. Please back away slowly. No, no! Don't sit down! Oh, this is going to get so ugly.)
• Much: I remember the times we used to sit up here. Sit up here and say there was no finer place in England.
• Robin: Gisborne is stealing my life. (I feel for him here. I really do. From his perspective, that's really what's happening. Guy took his lands, his title, his home, and he is taking the woman he loves. I want to come back and rewatch this after the retcon episode in season three to see how my opinions on this may change. I remember the main gist of the episode and everything, but not every single detail because season three is mostly a fuzzy memory of unhappiness to me. I rarely ever rewatch anything from it. No Djaq = no interest. The posts are probably going to slow down when I get there. But I do want to say one thing about this statement. Robin is making this all about him. It's about Guy "stealing" Marian from him and not about the fact that Marian is the one who will be forced into a marriage against her will and raped. Fuck that.)
• Much: And you must let him. (No, Much. He actually doesn't need to let a woman be raped for your stupid fucking king.) You heard Edward, the king is in danger. And what is Locksley if England can't be saved?
• Robin: At this moment I care more about Locksley than England.
• Much: It isn't Locksley, is it? It's Marian. We must let her go. (Robin gives him the 'I can't believe you just said that' look.) I say we, I mean you. (Again, Much, I love you dearly, but NO. You and Robin are both focusing on the wrong shit here. Robin only cares about losing the woman he loves to another man, you only care about the fucking king, meanwhile Marian is going to be raped.)
• Robin: There must be a way.
• Much: Robin, the king is coming back! And if we can stop the sheriff from messing things up, then England will be right again!
• Robin: Will it?
• Much: Yes! The sheriff will be out, you'll be in. We're talking days, surely. I mean, you'll have your lands back. You'll be in Locksley, I'll be in Bonchurch. (And here is where this really goes off the rails. I don't think Much means for it to come off the way he does, but oh lord does this come off horrendously.) It's not a huge estate, but it's big enough. A man could easily get lost on it, easily. (Yikes...I love Much to pieces, but he's essentially saying "You have to let Guy rape Marian so I can be a noble. Also, I don't care that you're my best friend, fuck your pain." and that's just...this is just not good.)
• Robin: *bitter laugh* You know something? If you want to get lost, why don't you start practicing now? (So far, this is fair. Much had this coming.)
• Much: You don't mean that. * Robin sadistically smiles and bitterly laughs* You know a smaller man would be offended, a smaller man would be wounded.
• Robin: You see, there is no smaller man, Much. Because you are the smaller man. All you care about is a roof over your head, food in your belly. You speak every facile thought that comes into your head. You're like a pox on my skin. I keep scratching, but you never go away. (This is where he goes WAY too far. I know he's hurting, but it's too far, especially after he called Much "simple" a few episodes ago and claimed then that he didn't mean it but when you add that scene to this scene, you can see that he does mean it. He always views Much this way. That's what makes it too far. Much may have it coming now, and I don't deny that, but he doesn't always have it coming. Much is usually a great friend to Robin, just not right now, and yet Robin always views him as being beneath him. He didn't just stop at telling him to get lost or calling him the smaller man, he continued to rub salt in the wound. The way he reveals these thoughts shows that he really does think of Much this way. Much deserves so much better. Maybe not right now, because he's being a massive douche right now, but usually.)
• Much: *pauses and has the saddest face ever that breaks my heart and then SHOVES Robin hard enough to knock him over* You go away. *Gets up and leaves.* (Good for Much for finally standing up for himself to Robin, but does he even realize how out of line he was too? Because he was. They both were. My heart hurts now.)
• Oh, Marian...are you still not fully convinced? What the hell?
• I love that Guy's yelling about wanting to find the Nightwatchman just as Marian shows up. Guess what, Guy? You found him.
• She could have probably easily fixed this by insisting the king be at the wedding or saying she wanted to see the king first before the wedding.
• "Deprived of love." Ugh...Marian, please.
• HAHAHA Omg...Marian tells him to accept it and grow up, and instead of arguing back like he always does he just goes "very well" and walks out. "You said grow up, I'm growing up." And she clearly didn't want him to and was just playing games because she panics, asks where he's going, and hits the wooden beam in frustration. You can't play games forever, Marian. Weren't you just saying last night about how you have never spoken the truth to each other? Maybe you should start.
• Yeah, you do have family, Guy. You have a sister that you abandoned and a son you abandoned, you piece of shit.
• Poor Thornton. He looks so scared and awkward. Like he's thinking, "please don't confess your heinous crimes to me. I don't want to be killed for knowing too much."
• "I have committed crimes, heinous crimes. But by taking Marian in holy wedlock, it will wash away those crimes. Her pure heart will cleanse mine." That's not how ANY of this works, Guy. Not at all.
• Alright...let's talk about the wedding night that never comes to pass. What was her plan? She was just stabbed like two days ago. How is she planning to hide that on the wedding night? Is she going to claim it came from her supposed fall? Does she expect him to be dumb enough to fall for it? Would he be dumb enough to fall for it? Ignoring the fact that she would've almost certainly died from an infection, shouldn't she have been resting this whole time? I mean, she did nearly die. Actually, she did die and then miraculously came back to life. She hasn't been resting at all. Can we talk about how incredibly extra painful sex is going to be with a fresh stab wound? Or is that topic not family friendly enough for this show? Has any of this occurred to anyone? I know it's occurred to the fans, but to the characters in the show? Have any of them given this any thought at all? You'd think Djaq would have thought about this, being the physician and all. Isn't there normally a resting period where you can't do strenuous activities like have sex immediately after suffering something like a stab wound that nearly kills you? If Guy does see it and realizes what it's from (which is highly probable) wouldn't Marian's life be in even more danger from going through with the wedding at this point than if she just came up with an excuse to postpone it a little longer? I have SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.
• Aww, Much! Still so loyal after all that nastiness. 
• Much is so lucky that no one paid attention to him yelling that he fought in the king's guard because he would've been a dead man.
• The sheriff couldn't find an imposter that was at least in the right age range? I know these people wouldn't have seen him before and most of the peasants might not know much about him at all, but wouldn't the nobles at least have a rough idea of his age?
• I love Allan's laugh in the scene where the sheriff was dragged away.
• Is French evidence a real thing?
• Did no one hear Merton yell?
• "As my father in law, he is protected. As my father in law." THIS IS ATTEMPTED RAPE. And I don't buy for a second that he made any provisions and even if he did, he has to be smart enough to realize that the sheriff wouldn't care.
• "Yes, Marian, tell them. Remember your father." Guy is an attempted rapist. Period. End of discussion. He is blatantly telling her "marry me and let me fuck you or your dad's a dead man."
• YES! My favorite Marian moment! Punch that asshole in the face!
• All these people see her leave with Robin. All of them. Guy has to know. He has to find out. How am I supposed to believe that he doesn't figure this out?
• I like Allan's little pep talk to Edward. It's cute.
• "We can't be seen together." Two seconds later they kiss in front of the guards. Okay...
• Marian's hair is really pretty.
• Did you know, Allan? Did you really?
• Aww, this is cute:
• Allan: I thought we were out of a job.
• Will: Good to have you back.
• Robin: It's good to be back!
• Oh, poor Much. For a second there he really looks resigned to his fate, like he doesn't know for sure that Robin will still want to rescue him after their argument.
• I hate this ending more than I have ever hated anything except the Barn Scene of Ick. This level of cheese is too much for even me to handle. What does it say about me though that the one thing I always notice about this freeze frame shot is how we finally get a good view of Djaq's tits?

I see Djaq in this image now and all I can think of is Freckle from The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo yelling, "Tits to the wind!"

Final Thoughts:

We made it to the end of season one! The first season of this show is absolutely excellent. I probably love the first two seasons equally but for somewhat different reasons. I like the appearance/wardrobe/style a little better in season two and I love Allan's storyline in season two, but I love the gang being all together in season one and I love the anti-war sentiment and the comparisons to the Iraq War from the first season. Not that it entirely goes away in the second season, but it mostly does, plus there is way more kissing of King Richard's ass in season two and I don't care for it. As someone who lived through that and was only just reaching the age where I was old enough to understand what was happening when it all went down (I was in middle school when 9/11 happened and 16 when this show started airing, for reference), it resonated with me in a big way and actually helped me to work through some of my real life feelings and opinions. In a time where a lot of the people I was surrounded by in real life were all becoming increasingly Islamophobic and racist toward everything Middle Eastern, this show and specifically Djaq's character was so vital in making me see their bigotry for what it really was. I hope the writers, cast, and crew realize how important that message was for those of us who grew up with this show during that era and what a difference they made.

My thoughts on the show itself:

• There are so many cute Robin/Much scenes in season one and I ship them so hard, but we've also seen a couple examples of how toxic their friendship can be and the example in this episode is the absolute worst. That hilltop scene is the lowest point for them and it breaks my heart every time.
• I still don't understand Guy/Marian shippers or the Guy fans who act as though he wasn't a villain at this point in the show. I really don't. I know they're the majority or at least the most vocal, but I don't get it. Everything in this season and especially in this episode was so blatantly rapey. This was an attempted rape. No doubt about it. He's not a poor, misunderstood, precious baby, he's an attempted rapist who abandoned his own son to die. I don't mean to offend the Guy fans, I really don't. I know several Guy fans that I would consider my friends within the fandom and I know they all have their reasons for loving him and I respect that, I just don't agree with it. It doesn't help that every time I've ever tried to read a Guy/Marian fic (and I have tried), Marian comes off as so entirely out of character that it takes me right out of the story. I feel like she almost has to be out of character to make her willingly choosing to be with Guy in any way realistic and at that point it feels like I'm just reading someone's original fiction work with familiar names because I don't even recognize the Marian I know and love in those stories.
• I want to elaborate on something a little further. I really don't mean to offend the Guy fans. Listen, I'm a die hard Spike fan in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel fandom (spoilers for Buffy ahead, proceed with caution). So when I tell you that your fave is an attempted rapist, trust me, I know how it feels to have that thrown in your face. I don't make excuses for all the evil things Spike has ever done, but he changed in a way that allowed him to truly achieve redemption, and unfortunately due to the nature of the two shows, Guy will never really be able to have his slate wiped clean in the same way (because of what a soul means in the Buffyverse). That being said, I do recognize that he made valiant efforts toward becoming a hero in season three and I respect that. The thing is, you can still love the character without making excuses for all the bad things they do and without pretending the bad things aren't that bad. As long as you do that, we're all good here. Most Guy fans I've come across are really good about this, but I have come across a few here and there that just don't seem to grasp that concept and next thing you know Marian is being called a slutty bitch for not choosing Guy. Those are the only ones I have an issue with. I feel that it was important to make this distinction because otherwise I know someone will figure out that my username on most fandom sites literally has Spike lover in the name and will wonder like, "what's this hypocrite going on about Guy fans for?" 
• I love everything about Djaq. She is perfection in human form. She deserves so much better than the rest of these people. She deserves a better friend and leader than Robin, who was responsible for her getting caught and then was willing to leave her to possibly be tortured, raped, and killed. She deserves better friends and potential love interests than Will and Allan, who both made bigoted comments a few episodes ago and nearly abandoned her in the last episode. 
• That being said, I still absolutely love and adore every single member of this gang (in seasons one and two anyway). This show is kind of unique in this way where I love every single one of the main protagonists. I haven't felt this way since Angel (which had a fantastic main cast throughout all five seasons) and haven't really felt it again ever since that I can recall. This goes away in season three though. I'm sorry...I just can't with Kate. I can't stand her. I never warmed up to Tuck either. They feel like cheap bargain bin replacements for Will and Djaq who should have never left. The sad thing is Tuck has so much potential and the concept of adding another woman to the gang has so potential and it will just fall so flat because the writers decided they really only cared about Robin, Guy, and Isabella (they may have given Kate a lot of screen time, but not really any good character development). Whenever I trash talk a member of the gang in seasons one and two, please realize that I do it out of love. I may call them douchebags or fuckboys, but I still love them. 
• And even though I think Djaq objectively deserves better than both Will and Allan, I still ship her with Allan so fucking hard. My ultimate OTP right there. And regardless of Allan/Djaq, I still don't think Will/Djaq is a good fit. Love them individually, but not together. I hope I've done a decent job so far of pointing out my reasons why because it's not that I just decided out of the blue that I don't ship it, I have what I believe to be legitimate reasons. And so far I know it seems like I place most of the blame on Will, but in season two there will be examples where it's Djaq's fault. I'm thinking "Lardner's Ring" here specifically. Like damn. Will really deserved better friends in that episode. He got captured and Djaq didn't even give a single fuck about it nor did she even tell anyone else. She just straight up leaves him to die. Poor Will. He didn't leave her to die when she got captured. Then I'm supposed to believe that a few episodes later she's declaring her love for him? Nah...
• Also, I absolutely despise Edward. I'm so looking forward to seeing him die in season two. 
• Robin, Allan, and Will are still the most attractive people on this show. Allan and Will both get even more attractive next season. I'm pumped for it.

Rewatching this season has been a blast! I loved every minute of it. It's just an incredibly strong season and it doesn't really have any weak episodes in it at all. Season two is pretty much the same way and I'm excited to start rewatching it! See you soon when I start the next season!