Robin Hood 2x12 "A Good Day to Die"

Well, it's the first part of the two-part season finale. The start of the downward spiral, the lead up to the ultimate jump the shark episode (this show jumped the shark so hard in the next episode that they should rename it "stab the Marian"), and it's the episode that contains the godawful Barn Scene of Ick. I gotta say...I hate this. Now, there are admittedly some good parts of this episode. I like the idea of a night of confessions and I thought that John's, Much's, and Robin's confession scenes were all excellent. And Allan being a hero and coming back to the gang is amazing!!! This episode does still have a few good things about it despite being one half of the worst season finale ever. I'm not gonna lie though, I'm still dreading this...but I guess let's get started anyway.

The scene this image came from is probably my least favorite scene in the whole show, but Djaq is absolutely beautiful in it. Truly stunning. So is Will for that matter. 

Thoughts While Watching:

• I'm already pissed off and I'm only a minute and a half into the episode. Alright, I get that Much is supposed to be the comedic relief character. I get it. I'm not supposed to get upset when he's made to look like an idiot or gets made fun of, but you know what? I'm sick of it. It's overdone. And here it's not even in character. You're telling me nervous nelly Much who's always thinking of how things can go wrong and panicking over everything was the one who decided to have his party in the barn in Nettlestone instead of at the camp? Why? There's no good reason for it to be here other than to serve the plot of the episode. So how about let someone else be the one who makes the dumb mistake for a change. It's not even in character for Much to decide to do this except that the writers think he has to be the one who fills the role of the "idiot" character. 
• Ugh...ugh...alright. Okay, sure. You know what? I hate everything. Alright, so, this is the only follow up we're ever going to get to Djaq stealing the ledger in 1x09. They clearly didn't know what they wanted to do with that, realized they were going to write her off the show next episode, and pushed it in here. When I first watched this, I spent all that time from 1x09 to 2x12 wondering if it was ever going to be brought up again and addressed in a satisfying way and instead I get this. Djaq has figured out how to make the black powder and apparently always carries a small amount of it on her for emergencies, but that's all she has. Just enough to scare them and for Robin to use it to threaten them so they don't get attacked immediately. Interesting that Robin never reveals that he's known she had the ledger the whole time.
• Robin: *army is charging ahead* Barricade the door.
• Djaq: No, wait! I've got this. *scrambles to put the black powder in a pig's head* I'm sorry, Robin. This was meant for your birthday. Much, Will, open the door! *lights it so that it will go off right after it lands, screams and tosses it outside, it blows up*
• Robin: *faking being pissed off* Black powder, Djaq? I thought I told you I never wanted to see that again. (How long has he waited for a chance to yell at her for this?)
• Djaq: *shrugs it off like she doesn't give a shit* I disobeyed you.
• Robin: *laughs* Good. Have you got anymore?
• So this episode/Robin's birthday takes place on October 14. That fits my theory that the end of the season is in the fall, BUT King Richard's birthday episode was 2x06 and his birthday was on September 8. So...ugh fucking hell, why can't this show follow a damn timeline? Am I meant to believe that everything that happened in between 2x06 and 2x12 happened in one month? Just the one month? Allan's only been working for Guy for one month? People have been bouncing back and forth between the Holy Land in one month? Didn't I already determine that there had to be at least two months in between 2x04 and 2x08 because Roger was supposed to leave for the Holy Land from Nottingham in 2x04, Carter was still in the Holy Land when he was expected to arrive but didn't show, and then Carter had time to go all the way back to England and arrive there in 2x08? Unless I'm supposed to believe it's been a whole year and a month. In which case that would now put us at 1194 instead of 1193 and remember, this whole thing historically should be happening in 1192 to fit King Richard's timeline of when he left the Holy Land. I'm done. I'm defeated. I give up. Nothing makes sense. 
• Why wouldn't Guy just lie? Say he has a sick cousin or some shit. Tell her about Isabella and say he needed to visit her. He knew she would suspect his plan.
• I hate fart jokes, but I actually think this scene is pretty important so I'm gonna have to include it.
• Marian: Well have they told you why?
• Allan: We're going to Portsmouth. That's all I know, Marian. Alright? And you didn't get that from me either.
• Marian: You know what this means. 
• Allan: No.
• Marian: The king! They must be expecting the king to land in Portsmouth. 
• Allan: It could mean anything for all I know.
• Marian: Well, that's not good enough, Allan. Now what if it is the king? You know full well what they'll do to him when he arrives.
• Allan: Well, it's not my call, is it? Look, I'm just the whipping boy around here. The packing boy.
• Marian: *scoffs* Look, if you go along with treason then you are committing treason.
• Allan: Rubbish! If you go along with farting, doesn't mean you farted yourself, does it?
• Marian: *disgusted* What's happened to you?
• Allan: I've learned which side my bread's buttered on. *walks away*
• That scene tells me that Allan is very much like me. He doesn't give a shit about the king. When he was in Robin's gang, he could care less about Robin's obsessing over Guy trying to kill the king and only cared about Djaq. When the gang needed to rescue someone, he was always willing to risk his life for a rescue mission. After being at the castle, he's willing to risk his life to save Marian, he saves Will, he avoids killing people, and by the end of this episode he'll go back to save the gang, knowingly giving up his job and life of leisure for good. He's shown to care about individual people and even the poor in general, but he doesn't care about the king. That doesn't make him a bad person, no matter what Marian or Robin think. I also think it shows that at this point in the episode he's still taking Will's words to heart and gave up on being able to go back to the gang, which is why he made that comment about knowing which side his bread's buttered on. It's obviously not really about the money or he wouldn't have asked Will if he could go back to the gang.
• How convenient. The sheriff wants Robin's body on a spike outside the castle so he won't let them burn down the barn.
• Another one of these scenes? Making Much look stupid at the beginning of the episode wasn't enough? Oh, fuck this. I hate this scene where he tries to be brave and runs out only to run back in a few seconds later. It shouldn't be in the episode at all, but if it was going to be included, it should be presented as a man faced with death having an anxiety attack and doing something stupid like that only because he can't handle the stress anymore, and instead it's played for laughs. It isn't funny. The gang's pretty much all rolling their eyes at him and we're supposed to laugh but I just hate it.
• Will with the arrow in his mouth is cute though.
• The last three episodes of season two all make Marian look like a dumbass when she wasn't one before. Last episode she breaks into a barn as the Nightwatchman while surrounded by hundreds of mercenaries while Guy is outside in broad daylight, this episode she tries to kill the sheriff (more on that in a second), and next episode she taunts Guy and kills all his hope while he's standing in front of her with a sword in his hand. Her plan here was stupid as shit and whenever Allan tries to talk sense into her, she knocks him out. 
• Marian: Allan, I can't find Robin.
• Allan: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. This trip's just me, Giz, and the sheriff. Serious, no soldiers, no mercenaries. I don't think it's the king, Marian.
• Marian: Yes, well I do and I'm going to stop it.
• Allan: How?
• Marian: I don't know. I'll kill the sheriff if I have to.
• Allan: What?! Hey, have you forgotten what happens if the sheriff dies?
• Marian: No, Prince John's armies will raze Nottingham to the ground.
• Allan: Yeah, so leave it.
• Marian: Yes, but if the king is in the south then that's where Prince John's men will be. Nottingham will be safe.
• Allan: *scoffs and laughs* That's a lot of assumptions there.
• Marian: And if I prevent the sheriff from killing the king, then that's the king back on the throne. That's the end of Prince John, the end of the Black Knights, and the end of their threats.
• Allan: So you want to save England single-handedly, yeah?
• Marian: *shouting* No, but I can't find Robin! Look, Gisborne and the sheriff are ready to leave now. There's no time for this! Would you please help me?
• Allan: Sorry, you're out of your depth.
• Marian: No, I'm sorry. *knocks him out* You underestimate me.
• Well, I certainly underestimated your stupidity. Allan was absolutely right here, except for his assumption that it had nothing to do with the king. She was right about that and only that. Yes, it did have to do with the king and yes, they are planning to kill him. But the king is not in the south. Or rather, at least not the south of England. He's not landing in Portsmouth, he's all the way in the Holy Land. Had she succeeded in her attempt to kill the sheriff, she would have single-handedly gotten an entire city of people, including women and children, all killed. Allan's right, she was making way too many assumptions and acting way too rashly and wasn't thinking things through at all because she got herself worked up into panic mode. She's acting like Allan is a coward or a traitor or something, but he's the only one here making any sense. He was shocked and horrified by her suggestion because they just saw what would happen two episodes ago and they all nearly died. Allan just lived through that awful shit and he cannot believe that she's stupid enough to risk all their lives like that and put them through that again based on a bunch of guesses and assumptions without proof. So no, Marian, he's not going to help you get a town full of people killed over the fucking king. He doesn't care about the king anyway, but he does care about Nottingham and he knows that this isn't worth that kind of risk. He's got his priorities in order. Good for Allan, the so-called "traitor" who is consistently being a better hero than the heroes are. Me and Djaq know what's up. We never lost faith in our boy.
• If Marian was truly listening and paying attention to the sheriff's speech here, she would realize she's about to make a stupid mistake that would have had a horrific result had she been successful, which luckily she wasn't. He says, "We did not wait for Muhammad to come to the mountain. No, we took the mountain to Muhammad." What do you think that means? And of course right when he starts on the part about not waiting for the king to land, she's already in attack mode.
• So that Marian/Guy/Allan/Sheriff scene was interesting. Once the sheriff figures out that Guy and Allan knew she was capable of fighting, Guy actually admits that he discovered Marian was the Nightwatchman, essentially selling her out. Although that could be because he figures if she just tried to kill the sheriff anyway that continuing to lie for her is a lost cause. But he does speak up to defend Allan by agreeing that he ordered him to pretend to be the Nightwatchman. He also seemed horrified at what she tried to do and I don't think it was just about feeling betrayed (although that might be most of it). I think the nightmare they just lived through is still fresh in his mind too and he's probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with her that she would knowingly and intentionally try to put them into that situation again.
• See, this is the thing about Robin and Marian both. Robin was ready to kill Will to prevent him from killing the sheriff in 2x04 but is ready to kill the sheriff himself in 2x06 because he thought protecting the king from a possible future assassination attempt and stopping traitors was more important and didn't seem to give a damn that Prince John would likely destroy several towns (going by Jasper's comment in 2x10, it sounded like other sheriffs had the same deal) if he succeeded. And of course, I'm never getting over him putting torturing or killing Guy for trying to kill the king as a higher priority than saving Djaq in 1x08. And now Marian is doing the same stupid things by being willing to risk all of Nottingham to kill the sheriff to stop him from killing the king. Fuck the king. I honestly think that sometimes Robin and Marian cross the line into being outright villains when it comes to their obsession with the king. Marian almost just got dozens if not hundreds of people killed (I don't know if the deal is just the actual town of Nottingham or the surrounding villages too nor do I know the population). Had Robin succeeded in 2x06 not only would he have definitely doomed Nottingham but potentially several other towns and may have gotten thousands killed all over that stupid fucking Pact. It's absolutely ridiculous. 
• This Guy/Allan scene is important too because of what Allan does later:
• Guy: This is the ultimate mission and carries with it the ultimate prize, absolute power.
• Allan: Well, yeah, for you and the sheriff.
• Guy: And you, Allan. Your loyalty will be rewarded in land and title, I'll see to that.
• Allan: Really?
• Guy: Really.
• Allan: What you mean, like a lordship or something? *Guy raises eyebrows to say yes*
• When Allan makes the decision to betray Guy to save the gang later, he's not only risking his life to do so but also giving up everything he has ever wanted all for people who turned their back on him after he made a mistake, even though he's continued to help them, save them, and begged for another chance. Even Djaq, because while she has continued to stand up for him repeatedly, he has no idea about that. We know it, the gang knows it, Marian knows a bit of it, but Allan doesn't have a clue.
• Are the mercenaries supposed to be Scottish?
• Will and John both start attacking Much for setting up this party, which I already hate that the show did this in the first place, but the whole gang was in on it. They all knew the plan and went along with it. What does it matter who came up with the idea? They all obviously thought it was good enough to go along with it. Will and John both need to shut the fuck up.
• Why does Marian look shocked? She knew what Guy did. Unless she honestly didn't believe Robin or it's just an act.
• Oh, so she did hear what the sheriff said and it just took her too long to put it together.
• I like Djaq's idea of having a night of confessions to give everyone a chance to get everything off their chest before they die but I wish they would have taken it more seriously and we could have learned more about all of them. She describes it as a night where "you must ask all your questions, share all your dreams, confess all your secrets" but she won't actually do that. She'll confess one secret that seems out of character to me and it only has to do with a romantic interest, which is just...bullshit. When we see her turn to talk it does sound like she'd been going for awhile, so did they just choose not to include any of the actually interesting stuff about her past and only have her confess a crush? That's garbage and I don't care who you ship. I want to know the stuff that matters. Have her tell the gang what she told Allan in "Brothers in Arms" but allow her to go into more detail so we know why she chose to start dressing as a man and going by her brother's name, what was her relationship with her brother like, how did her family's deaths at the hands of Crusaders affect her personally and her decision to join the army, why did she survive when they didn't, does she feel any guilt about being in the war or survivor's guilt, what was she like before she started disguising herself as a man and going by the name Djaq, was she always a tomboy, was she ever married/engaged/in love before, why did she learn the medical stuff from her father in the first place, what were her original dreams before the Crusaders destroyed her life, why and how did she learn English in the first place, how did slavery affect her, does she have any lingering resentment for Much and Robin for being Crusaders deep down, etc. Tell me the stuff that matters! Like sure, if you want to have a love confession in there too, then fine. I'd really rather not, but I could deal with it if it wasn't the only thing we got from her (although I think that no matter who she ended up with, it shouldn't have been revealed as a public love confession like that, but I understand why the circumstances maybe led to her choosing to do this). As it stands, it ends up just feeling like "oh, the woman in the gang decided to turn it into a truth or dare sleepover party so she could confess her crush on a boy" and I hate that. Everyone got meaningful confessions but Will and Djaq. It's such bullshit. We could have had a wonderful opportunity to learn more about her past and instead all we got was the damn Barn Scene of Ick. Someone please rewrite it. Maybe I'll do it myself. I don't even care if you keep in the Barn Scene of Ick (but why would you?), just add in the important stuff at the beginning.
• Did Allan already know about the mercenaries and the gang? I don't think he did. 
• Lord, I feel nauseated already. Though I will say, Djaq and Will both look absolutely gorgeous in this scene. If I watched it on mute, I'd probably love it.
• Djaq: So I admire you, all of you. You are good men, brave, generous, kind, decent men, and I love you. All of you. And I am proud to be amongst you.
• Much: Is this what this is? Just everyone saying they love each other?
• Yes, thank you, Much! Starting off with a line like that, especially when we know she's been talking for awhile because that's obviously not an opening statement, is just so beyond cheesy.
• Djaq: Wait! And you're filthy, and you really stink, and you have no souls.
• John: We live in the forest.
• Djaq: I have to be honest!
• Am I supposed to laugh? I'm cringing. Just to be clear, this is not Anjali Jay's fault. She and Harry Lloyd did an amazing job with the garbage they were given to work with. They tried their hardest to save this scene. But honestly, what did that comment mean? "And you have no souls?" Please elaborate. That's a hell of a thing to say without any context. Also, is this scene evidence that she bathes far more frequently than the rest of them? I've always assumed she did, though Robin and Will usually look fairly clean as well. Much and John have that long, stringy hair that tends to look greasier faster than short hair would.
• Djaq: I have to be honest. And if I am being honest, I have to say...that I do not love all of you in the same way.
• Much: It's me, isn't it? You love everyone, but you don't love me. Brilliant.
• Thank God for Much breaking up this bullshit with his commentary.
• Djaq: There is one I do love more than the others. The way a bird would fly 2,000 miles through storms just to be with the one he loves. That is the love I feel and I am a fool because it is only now when we're about to die that I have the courage to admit it even to myself. I'm sorry. I should have said earlier.
• Who is even talking right now? What's the name of this cheesy ass romantic character Anjali Jay's playing? Where did Djaq go? I'm gonna puke. And I just want to be clear, obviously I've said over and over that I ship Allan/Djaq and not Will/Djaq, but even if that speech above was made about Allan instead of Will, I'd feel the same way. This isn't a "oh, she's just bitter about her ship so she hates this scene" reaction. This is a "I've always loved Djaq and I no longer recognize her because everyone is acting out of character to give them an excuse to write off three characters next episode and I'm pissed about it" reaction.
• Much: *whispers* Will. I knew it.
• Yeah, he really did call this one. Back in that one and only scene they put in to lead up to this. It is cute how Will looks up at her all full of hope and a tiny bit of fear like, "Oh, my God. Is it me? Please tell me it's me! If it's not me, I'll die." But dude, how funny would this have been if she'd said Much instead? 
• Djaq: You, Will Scarlett, are strong and true and you fight for what you believe in. And that's why I love you.
• Will: And I love you. I love the way you say what you mean. I love your silly voice.
• Djaq: Silly voice? That's it, I take it back, all of it. I hate you.
• Oh, no...look at that. I just puked. Seriously? This is the MOST cringey scene of all time ever. Much makes a hysterical face in that middle of that which really just reflects my feelings entirely. His face is like, "Oh, my God, won't these mercenaries just come in and kill us all right now? I'll pay them extra to do it." This is repulsive.
• Will: And I love the way you fight...like a man. Ferocious.
• What?
• Will: And the way you will always, always be a woman.
• What?
• Much: Kalimna. Boring.
• Thank you, Much. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I was about to kill myself.
• And that's it. That's all we get. Nothing about Djaq's past or her motivations for joining the gang or how she came to be the way she is or what her dreams for the future are, nothing. Same with Will. That's all we get. I've heard (though I can't be sure it's true) that originally there was supposed to be an added scene where Will has his own speech where he talks about how the sheriff and Guy have affected his family personally and what it was like being a villager under their rule and goes into why he's fighting for justice for the peasants, which would have been beautiful since, as I've said before, Will is the one that is the representative of the average peasant in the gang. This is his fight more than anyone else's. But if it's true that that scene was originally planned to be in here, it got cut. The part that actually matters for him and his character got cut and instead all we're left with from him is a love confession. They probably cut it because, had they left it in, it would be harder to sell his decision to leave the gang next episode as something in character for him. Because that decision is not in character and they know it. 
• Will and Djaq both got totally ripped off here. Everyone else got these grand, meaningful confessions and all they got was this cheesy, romantic, crap. And it's obviously to sell the idea that that's all that matters to them now so they could write them off the show in the next episode. And it's bullshit. The way they wrote them off, especially for Will more so than Djaq, is completely out of character. This is Will's fight. These are his people, his friends and family, that are suffering. He knows what they're going through because he went through it too. His parents died to the sheriff's bullshit. His little brother is still here. And Will won't ever say goodbye to Luke. The Will Scarlett that "fights for what he believes in" wouldn't just stay in the Holy Land and the Djaq who admires him for that wouldn't ask him to. I don't know who these characters are, but they are not the Will and Djaq that I know and love. They'll spend their last two episodes in this lovey-dovey, make me gag, totally out of character state and then just leave the show. 
• Things that would have made this scene better:
• Robin interrupting Djaq with "I love you, you love me, we all love each other, drink the wine."
• Much declaring she was boring a couple minutes earlier and saving us from this hell.
• Not comparing their love for each other to pigeons.
• Djaq telling Will she loved him privately in a small, quiet corner of the barn while the rest of them were distracted.
• Will being the one to finally man up and tell her how he's felt since season one since everyone already knew. Ideally, she then turns him down (at least for now), but even if she didn't, I'd still take it over whatever the hell this is.
• Will and Djaq each getting the chance to talk about the stuff that actually matters for their characters instead.
• Djaq admitting that she had feelings for Allan before, but in a less cheesy way. She could even say that she thought he was still a good man who still cared about them and now she's disappointed that he must know they're in this situation and didn't do anything (even though he didn't know in advance and she'd be wrong), and let her work through her feelings and sink the ship before she admits that she has feelings for Will now. How deliciously tragic would that be? To know that if she had just known about the stuff Allan's done to save Will and Marian, if she had just known that he didn't know they were in the barn in advance, if she knew he was on his way to save them, then maybe she would have held out hope for him, but instead she didn't and now she's with Will by the time he shows up and he waited too long. They could even leave it that way if they wanted. Make it like, yeah, she loved him once, but she chose Will over him because he's the one who stayed loyal to her and never let her down, but we as the audience would know the full story about Allan that she doesn't. Make it so that Allan actually suffers the consequence of his actions by making it clear like yeah, you could have had the girl, but it took you too long to get your shit together and you lost her.
• Not having this love confession and keeping them on the show and giving them an entire extra season to work through the Will/Djaq/Allan love triangle, regardless of which one she chooses at the end.
• Less cheesy writing even if the scene stayed almost exactly the same. But if they did that, I would want them to have included more of a lead up to this in the previous episodes. There should have been clear evidence that she was developing feelings for Will all season, or at least in the last few episodes, and there wasn't.
• Djaq saying that she loved someone else instead. Preferably Allan, but the hilarity of her saying Much would be fantastic. Or maybe mentioning that she loved someone before she even came to England. 
• I just hate that scene. I hate it so badly. 
• I love this Guy/Allan scene though. Guy actually trusts Allan and considers him a friend. And Allan obviously cares for Guy to a certain extent because he didn't actually want to lie to him here. I think he thought that Guy deserved to not be constantly lied to and played.
• Guy: Can I trust you?
• Allan: Yeah, of course.
• Guy: Tell me.
• Allan: Tell you what?
• Guy: Robin Hood and Marian. 
• Allan: What about them?
• Guy: They're still...aren't they?
• Allan: Look, even if they were, it's finished now, alright?
• Guy: That's not an answer, Allan. I need to know.
• I wonder what Allan would have said there if the sheriff hadn't come in. He obviously didn't feel comfortable outright lying to Guy under these circumstances and making a fool out of him. He has enough respect for Guy not to want to do that, even if it would mean putting Marian at greater risk. But he also wants to protect Marian, so selling her out entirely wouldn't be good either. 
• The sheriff is brilliant. He now harasses both of them. "What's this, kissing in the moonlight?"
• John's confession is actually really good. It gives me shivers.
• Djaq: Who do you love?
• John: You. All of you. Even him. *gestures to Much* I love you all, alright? *gets up, pauses* And Alice. Shouldn't have let her go. And my boy, Little Little John. I should have made them stay.
• Robin: John, you didn't have a choice.
• John: Let me speak. Leaving Alice, running to the forest, was wrong. Wrong. That's why I'm a huge, ugly, stupid, useless, coward.
• Will: John!
• John: That's why I'm always saying it, Much. "Today is a good day to die" because for me it is. I deserve to die! I left the people that loved me, the two people that should have depended on me, my own child! *bitterly laughs* What was I thinking?!
• Robin: John, I'll not let you talk like this.
• John: I'm going now, I won't wait for tomorrow. 
• Robin: John...
• John: Let's move this cart. *goes to move the cart and starts throwing himself against it repeatedly* I need to die! I want to die! Let me die! Let me die! *continues to scream and repeat this while Will holds him, John eventually breaks down into tears and falls to the floor*
• See? That's what I mean. This is an example of an excellent confession that's actually very revealing for John's character. We know which mistakes weigh on him, what his regrets are, what his true desires are, who he loves, it's revealed that he's actually suicidal (he didn't start saying that phrase until right after the episode where Alice and Little Little John leave for good), he's been quietly dealing with depression for the entire past season, he hates himself, and we can kind of tell a lot about his motivations from this as well. It's just perfect. Depressing and heartbreaking, but a great confession scene. Gordon Kennedy did an excellent job with this.
• And also, remember how I said Much trying to leave earlier should have been taken seriously as a man having an anxiety attack and not played for laughs? This is what I mean. When John starts freaking out and trying to run out, the gang all take him seriously. When Much did the same, they viewed him as a joke. 
• Aww, Allan's just sitting up in bed, weighing his options. I don't blame him for not immediately running off. As far as he knows, the gang might already be dead. He might leave, abandoning any hope for the future for good, for people who may already be dead and then he'll truly be alone, not in a good position to help Marian anymore either, and there will be a target on his back when Guy gets back and no one left alive to help him. But he's slowly realizing that he has to at least try to save them if he can and if it's not too late.
• Much's confession scene is excellent too. Absolutely amazing.
• Much: Look, I'm not doing this.
• Djaq: Fine.
• Much: Good, because I don't hate myself and I'm not in love with anyone else, so...
• Djaq: Fine.
• Much: Fine, there's nothing to say then. *Much walks past Robin who is quietly laughing to himself* What?
• Robin: What?
• Much: You're smiling.
• Robin: I'm smiling because usually it's a struggle to shut you up.
• Much: You think I talk too much. Well, I know that's what you think. Much talks too much and eats too much, worries too much. It's easy for you to say because if I don't do it, then who does? It's alright for you because you can just breeze through life and be everyone's hero and not have to worry about the simple things like the fire, or the food, or the hole in your cape, or your birthday! Because good old, dependable old Much will take care of that. Well, I tell you something, you take me for granted. *Robin scoffs and shakes his head* You're sniggering at me.
• Robin: Much, I'm just-
• Much: *screaming* YOU SHOULDN'T! And I'm angry. And just because I love you doesn't mean I can't hate you too. And I hate you...because in the Holy Land there was two of us and we were a team and the things we went through and the horrors we saw, went through them together. And when we came home, we were like brothers. Brothers in arms. And where is that now, eh? It's gone, that's where! You never talk! You just don't. And you made me a free man and we're meant to be equals. We're not equals. The only thing that's changed around here is you still treat me like a servant, you don't treat me like your friend.
• Robin: That's not true. *looks around and realizes how uncomfortable everyone else is* Is it true? *looks at John who very clearly thinks it is, Robin puts his head down as if in shame*
• Much: Oh, Kalilah. (I have no idea how to spell any of this and I'm pretty sure Much is pronouncing it wrong anyway.)
• Robin: Well, they're not coming tonight, that's for sure. We'll make a plan for the morning.
• Much just revealed all of that and Robin can't even bring himself to properly address it or apologize. And honestly, all of them should feel guilty because all of them take him for granted and make fun of him. Yeah, he directed that at Robin specifically because Robin is the one he feels betrayed by, but they should all feel horrible. But I'm proud of Much for finally standing up for himself and telling Robin off. I particularly love the line, "And just because I love you doesn't mean I can't hate you too." I've been there. I've had that exact feeling for someone before. It's a really rough place to be in emotionally. Much really deserves better.
• Aww, Allan is leaving to save the gang! He tried to get the key to save Marian first and seems unsure and uncomfortable about leaving her behind, but she encourages him to go anyway.
• Aww, my poor baby Much! "Forget what I said. I don't want you to die remembering me that way." And Robin says, "Hey, I'll remember you as my loyal friend."
• Now we get Robin's confession, another really good one. Everyone had great confession scenes except Will and Djaq. I think this little exchange before his confession actually starts is pretty interesting too.
• John: You have not spoken, Robin. It's your turn.
• Robin: We have a few moments left on this earth. Let me have my thoughts to myself. I'll share them with you in the next life.
• Djaq: Robin, if there is a heaven, yours is different from mine.
• Much: What if there isn't a heaven?
• None of the gang have ever been shown to be particularly religious. We did see John rely on the power of Christ to protect him when he thought he was up against something Satanic in 1x10, but other than that, have we really ever seen any of them worry about religion all that much? It's almost a little odd considering the medieval setting of the show. That being said, we do know that all of the gang is Christian, except Djaq, who is Muslim. But here we see both Djaq and Much appearing to question their beliefs. Djaq says "if there is a heaven" which implies that she's not sure that she believes there is. She also says that Robin's heaven is different from hers, which also goes against the popular beliefs of the time. Wouldn't Djaq, if she followed the teachings of Islam strictly, believe that the rest of them would go to hell? (I'm actually not too sure about the specifics of what it says in the Quran, so if I'm wrong here, let me know.) Wouldn't the rest of the gang assume she would go to hell for being Muslim? We don't know for sure if the rest of the gang actually believes her claim that there might be two different versions of heaven, but she seems like she might actually believe that. Or is it just a nice way of her saying his afterlife will be different from hers, meaning she knows that one of them will likely be in hell and she believes it will be him? I feel like if she meant afterlife, she would have said it, so I think that she actually believes they might all destined for some sort of heaven. Much questions whether there is a heaven or not too and seems concerned and fearful at the prospect that there might not be. The only one who seems sure that heaven exists is Robin, though he could have just been using that as a way to brush them off. The interesting thing though, to me, is that while they consider the possibility of two heavens or doubt whether or not heaven exists at all, none of them seem to be worried about the possibility that heaven might exist but that they might not be good enough and might be going to hell regardless. Why aren't any of them worried about that? All of them have killed people at one point or another. Robin, Much, and Djaq all fought in the wars and so likely killed hundreds of people, so for all they know, they might be together in the afterlife anyway but it might not be the afterlife they're hoping for. I'm really surprised that none of them are worried about the possibility of going to hell, especially given the time period. I mean, I get that they all consider themselves to be "the good guys" who have dedicated their lives to doing what they believe is right, but technically speaking, they're all killers. Unless Djaq believes it was justified because she was fighting to defend her people, not attacking other people unprovoked, and Robin and Much believe that it truly was a holy war, but given Robin's criticism of the war in season one, I doubt he truly believes there was anything holy about it anymore. But what about the guards and other random people they've killed since the show started? Do they justify it as "the guards worked for the sheriff and the sheriff is more evil than us so it's okay?" Not all of those deaths were in self defense (in 2x07 they killed a bunch of guards unprovoked and not in self defense at all). I guess they're all confident enough that they've done more good than evil. Have any of them gone to confession since they were outlawed? Just to be clear, I'm not saying that I, personally, think they're going to hell nor am I making any kind of statement at all about whether or not I believe there is a heaven, or multiple heavens, or hell, or whether which religion you believe in plays a part in where you go when you die, or any kind of claim about the existence of any kind of afterlife at all. This isn't about my personal beliefs. I'm trying to get into their minds because I think their outlook here is interesting and unusual given the time period and culture that they live in.
• Anyway, time for Robin's actual confession:
• Robin: You know my thoughts. They are for the poor, they are for you, and they're for Marian, the woman I love. The woman who recently I gave a ring to.
• Djaq: You're engaged? *Robin and Much both nod*
• Robin: The woman who makes me believe that, by a twist of fate, we might just be able to see this through. And Much, I have betrayed your friendship, but I think you know why. *Much shakes head no* You see, I can't face the terrors we saw. I can't. Because I'm not as strong as you. I have to put them out of my mind because if I don't, then I wouldn't be able to lead. I mean, I wouldn't even be able to...*laughs bitterly*
• Much: What?
• Robin: It doesn't mat-
• John: Be able to shoot.
• Much: Shoot? Of course you can shoot.
• Robin: No, no, John's right. In the Holy Land, the men we saw...in bits...screaming. Every time I raise my bow, I see them. I hear them. And I know now, whether it was right or wrong, what we did in the Holy Land, it makes no difference. So I have to try not to kill. I have to avoid killing. I mean, God gave me a gift with bow. I can kill with my eyes closed. I mean, I can kill a man from a thousand yards. And I have to try everything in my power not to. And that's why I wasn't there for you in your hour of need, my friend. Because I have to let those memories go. I just have to be free.
• Much: Why didn't you say?
• Robin: *tearfully* It doesn't matter now. In a few moments, we'll be free forever. *Much and Robin hug*
• I completely, 100% believe that Robin doesn't like to talk about the Holy Land because he has PTSD. He's already shown signs of it with his nightmares. However, he's talking here about how he tries to avoid killing as much as possible, which...don't bullshit me, Robin. I've been watching you all season. That's season one Robin talking, season two Robin is a murderer who either kills or tries to kill people all the time for no good reason.
• Also, it's kind of interesting how they turn to Much when Robin reveals he's engaged. Almost like they're expecting it to break Much (which it did when he found out) and are waiting to see his reaction, but he just nods because he already knows.
• Aww, this is so sad. Although, not as sad as it would be if I didn't already know they all survive this.
• Much: Well, here's to freedom.
• Will: *crying* Here's to the poor. *looks at John* Here's to the good people we leave behind.
• John: We are Robin Hood. *everyone repeats it, just like in 2x01*
• Robin: Thank you, my friends.
• I LOVE this scene! It's Guy's weird dream.
• Dream Marian: *rubbing Guy's shoulders* I should have let you look after me, Guy. I should have let you.
• Dream Marian with Allan's voice: I'm your boy.
• Dream Allan: *still rubbing Guy's shoulders* I'm nothing without you. Right from the very beginning, I should have let you look after me. Shh...
• Real Sheriff: *rubbing Guy's shoulders* Shh...
• Guy: *wakes up startled like, oh my god, was I just having an almost sex dream about Allan? Oh, it's because the sheriff was molesting me again in my sleep*
• Sheriff: Guy, don't be too disappointed. 
• Guy: What?
• Sheriff: Your boy, Allan. He doesn't love you anymore. He's run away, he's lost his nerve.
• Guy: *seems genuinely disappointed* I'll find him.
• Sheriff: No, no. Let him go. We don't need him, hmm? It's better this way. Just us. *Guy looks extremely alarmed*
• There is no way to describe my reaction when I first watched this episode for the very first time and Marian morphed into Allan, still rubbing Guy's shoulders and saying the exact same thing Marian did about how he should have let Guy look after him. And then the real life sheriff follows the dream up with a statement about how Allan "doesn't love you anymore." I was dying. It's one of my all time favorite scenes. It's interesting though that Guy seemed to know in the dream that Allan had betrayed him before he found out in real life. And it's very telling that Guy had that dream about Allan at all. He must have genuinely cared about Allan quite a lot.
• Will and Djaq have their first kiss that they believe will probably be their last. I still don't ship this and I never will, but it's a sad and sweet moment.
• Robin says, "See you in heaven, my friends." so I think he definitely does believe in heaven and that all, or at least most of them (maybe except Djaq), are headed there.
• Djaq is the one who sees Allan first! If he had just come back to the gang one day sooner, my ship might've sailed. Or at least Will/Djaq might not have sailed or at least they might not have yet. Or if Djaq and Will had stayed on the show, my ship might've still sailed eventually, because I still don't think Will and Djaq are compatible for long-term.
• Allan: I'm with you. Trust me. I've been an idiot. I'm sorry. (Aww...)
• It's a good thing Ellingham (or however you spell that dude's name) already told the vast majority of the troops to clear out before he figured out Allan was bullshitting him.
• Aww!!!
• Much: Good to have you back.
• Allan: Good to be back.
• The show has used that exact phrase at least once before (I remember it in 1x13) so it's nice to see them use it again here. It's especially sweet considering it's Much, of all people, that says it to Allan. The two who always had issues getting along even before Allan betrayed the gang. If Much can accept him back, anyone can.
• I think it's especially sad that they didn't even have time to go back to camp. Will and Djaq left camp the day before never realizing that they would never return. They probably left their stuff there. None of them packed anything for the trip which would take weeks. An extra hour wouldn't really make a difference for them to go back and get their stuff. Besides, how did they afford passage on the ship? Wouldn't they need to go back and get some money? It doesn't even make sense.
• To be continued...

When I went back to get this screencap, I had the scene on mute so I wouldn't make myself sick again. It's so much better that way. All the beauty of Anjali Jay and Harry Lloyd being adorable and none of the writers' nauseating bullshit.

Final Thoughts:

It's Will and Djaq's last time in Sherwood Forest, they're never going back to the camp again, and I'm not okay with any of this. There was no time to pack their stuff or say goodbye to anyone, not even Luke. The fact that they chose to write those two of the show in the next episode is absolute bullshit.

This episode had a few highlights and when it was good, it was really good. John's confession and Much's confession were both excellent, Robin's confession was good too, Guy's dream was the best thing ever, and Allan joined the gang again! But I can never forgive the Barn Scene of Ick or the fact that this whole episode is leading up to the monstrosity that is the next episode. And they aired on the same night originally, so to me, when I think of them, it's one big heinous episode.

See you all next time for Jump the Shark Part Two!