Robin Hood 3x01 "Total Eclipse"

Guess what? I don't remember a damn thing about season three. It's almost going to be like watching this for the first time. Actually, that's an exaggeration. I remember a few things: I remember that Tuck was a let down and Kate was obnoxious, I remember that Much had a crush on Kate and she was mean to him, I remember panicking thinking that Allan and Kate would end up together but then that went no where, I remember that Guy's sister Isabella shows up and her and Robin get into a semi-relationship before they break up, she becomes sheriff, and she joins the dark side, I remember bits and pieces of Guy's redemption storyline which ended with him dying in Robin's arms, I remember that Keith Allen left the show for awhile and everything was terrible because he was like literally the only thing holding this shitshow together, I remember Prince John showing up, I remember a random lion but nothing of the circumstances surrounding it, I remember Robin and Kate getting into a semi-relationship, I remember bits and pieces of the Guy and Robin's childhood retcon, I remember Archer, I remember Allan dying after being framed, I remember Nottingham Castle getting blown up, and I remember Robin's death scene. So...maybe I remember more than I thought but it doesn't feel that way because I can't tell you a damn thing about the plot of any individual episode. They're all a blur. My brain picked out the highlights of important things that happened, but that's it. I can't tell you what a single episode was actually about. This is a stark contrast to seasons one and two where I could tell you almost every single thing that happened in almost every single scene of every single episode and memorized entire chunks of the scripts by heart. I can't give you an accurate summary of a single episode of season three. I've got nothing. So...this will be fun.

We left off last time with the show making the HUGE mistake of fridging Marian and putting Will and Djaq on a bus and the rest of the characters are all done with their field trip to the Holy Land and are going back to England. Alright, well...I can't honestly say I'm looking forward to this season, but who knows? Maybe it won't be as bad as I remember it. I might gain a new appreciation for it since it's been a few years. Let's get started anyway. The sooner I finish it, the sooner I can go back to just rewatching random episodes that have Djaq in them.

Have I mentioned how much of a mistake writing Djaq off the show was? Oh, I have? About a million times? Sorry. Well, let me just say it again, I MISS DJAQ!

Thoughts While Watching:

• Oh, look. It's Tuck on a boat. Where did he come from? Did they ever say? I don't remember. He clearly just came from somewhere that's not England, but I don't know where he was or what he was doing or if he's from England originally.
• OH, SHIT! ROBIN JUST KNOCKED OUT JOHN FOR A CHANGE! Oh, how the tables turn.
• Did Robin just call Much a "leech" and "pathetic" just now? Oh...I'm about to jump through the screen and beat some outlaw ass. I don't care if this is him grieving. I'll throw down anyway.
• Robin seemed so well adjusted when he left the Holy Land. Guess he was just in shock and it hadn't hit him yet?
• HE JUST PUNCHED MUCH! But aww, Allan immediately jumped to Much's defense and was ready to kick his ass over it.
• Yeah, you know what, don't even follow him. Fuck him. 
• I've seen that little girl in a lot of behind the scenes photos with the cast.
• Why did Guy just grab that little girl? I have no idea what's going on.
• Aww...poor Much. My poor little baby. He thinks he just saw Robin die and went crazy trying to kill Guy.
• Oh, is that the same actor/character as 2x10? Is that Jasper? I'm shocked they cared enough to be consistent here.
• Aww, Allan says they've gotta think about the living. He means Much. Allan's already being so protective of Much. I love these two.
• AWWW, MUCH!!! HE'S CRYING!
• The sheriff's so excited and Guy's too depressed to even celebrate or really care.
• Honestly, Robin would never have survived that fall. This is so unrealistic.
• One of my friends and my husband have both told me before that Robin looks like my friend/sort-of-ex-boyfriend and they've accused me of being attracted to Jonas Armstrong because of it and I said they were crazy and the two looked nothing alike...but I see it now. I SEE it now. I see it more in season three Robin than I ever did in seasons one and two Robin, but now I can never unsee it. Holy shit. I'm looking at Robin laying there thinking to myself, I dated that dude.
• Oh my God...they're like twins. In this scene where Robin's tied up and talking to Tuck, I can see it even more. This is going to haunt me. They were right all along.
• I forgot Much was tortured. My poor baby! And he was really tortured. This is so much worse than when anyone was captured before.
• The guy I dated didn't have a body like that though. Damn...
• When did Robin get a tattoo? We've seen him shirtless in season one and he didn't have it then, so...was this something he got on the ship ride back to England? And does anyone know if that's Jonas Armstrong's real tattoo or a fake one for Robin?
• So what happened to avoiding killing? I know he spent all of season two proving he didn't actually care about that stance, but that scene in the barn implied he'd be going back to it. Guess that was a lie. He's ready to kill that guard. He's only a teenager. How many of the other guards they've killed were the same?
• Much looks so sad and defeated.
• I like that they kept the same weird background music throughout the whole show.
• Robin, you did promise Marian that you'd keep fighting.
• "I said terrible things to those men. The bravest, most loyal men in England. I didn't want anymore blood on my hands. Truth is, I'd die for them." Aww....
• Is Tuck hypnotizing Guy? Does Guy even know who he's talking to?
• Allan's suspicious right away. He should be. Tuck's lying. And Allan knows liars better than anyone.
• Much, it's not really a "betrayal" if it's someone you've never met before. Tuck's plan is bullshit though. What if Robin failed to save them? He is injured. Tuck could've gotten three people killed. Four, if Robin got caught in the process. People's lives aren't a fucking game, Tuck.
• LMAO THE SHERIFF JUST GROWLED BACK AT JOHN!
• I like how Allan is sassing the sheriff. He seems less afraid of him since he's worked for him.
• So Robin's father was Mufasa? Does anyone actually say that when people die they become stars? I've never heard that in real life.
• Allan looks sexy when he's tied up.
• Why go through the trouble of all these elaborate executions? What's the point?
• "Well, at least it's not a dull death. People will be talking about this for years, John." I love Allan.
• "Monk's been on the mushrooms!" I love the sheriff!
• None of these people heard of an eclipse before?
• Robin's such a ham. He's loving this attention.
• Convenient that Robin suddenly decided not to kill Guy.
• These costumes are so intense. I miss the hoodies and shit that looks like it came from Kmart.
• I don't like this. Robin just announces that Tuck's joining the gang. Why was it put to a vote in 1x05 when Djaq joined, but here Robin just decides on his own and everyone else has to be okay with it? Allan's obviously not entirely comfortable with it. I wouldn't be either.
• Much looks different here. Like noticeably older and more mature.
• Why would he bury the ring? I wouldn't. He should've kept wearing it. Her body's already buried, the ring shouldn't be. That's supposed to be kept for memories.

Final Thoughts:

This was the shortest post I've made in a long time. I imagine most of season three will be short like this. I'm too busy experiencing it because I don't remember any of it. I've had years to think about every aspect of seasons one and two and I really cared about the characters in those seasons so I analyzed every little detail. I still don't remember what the hell's going on in season three.

And I still miss Djaq.

Catch you next time for 3x02!